Just a thought....this is what a conversation between a man and God might sound like:
God: "Hello, sir. I am God."
Man: "Oh, hey dude. What's up?"
God: "Umm, me. I am up. In the sky. I live in heaven. Lookest thou upon me."
Man: "That's cool. So...what are you up to....err, I mean, what are you doing down here, like, on Earth?"
God: "I came to talk to you about life."
Man: "Oh, ok. So tell me, how can I get to Heaven?"
God: "Well, since thou hast asked, follow me, believe in me, and do as I say."
Man: "Word. Well, then what should I do? Tell me."
God: "Resist temptation. Be righteous. Be good."
Man: "Ok. So you say, resist temptation. Like what?"
God: "Follow the Ten Commandments. Worship no other God but me, worship no idols, do not take my name in vain, honor your parents, do not kill, do not steal, do not commit adultery, do not bear false witness against your neighbor, do not covet that which belongs to your neighbor."
Man: "Yeah, I remember those rules. So as long as I do not cheat on my wife, or eye my neighbors wife, or kill or steal, blah blah blah, I'm good to go, right? You said no adultery, so that just means if I'm faithful when I get married I'm cool, right?"
God: "No, when I said that I meant that thou shalt not have sex before marriage. And stop with these condoms and birth control that thou hast created. I created sex in order to continue the race of man. Do not abuse it."
Man: "Whoa, man, that's fucked up. What do you mean, no sex? Why? It feels good, bro. You should try it."
God: "But you are man. I have endowed thee with the ability to reason, and to at least ponder what it means to resist temptation."
Man: "So why does is it awesome? Why not make it boring. That way I won't do it."
God: "Because your forefather, Adam, ate of the fruit of knowledge, which I explicitly told him not to. As a result you must suffer with the task of deciding what is right."
Man: "So knowledge is evil? Then why did I go to school and waste all that time that I could have been partying?"
God: "Because thou respect thy parents, as I have commanded."
Man: "Umm, I guess, but probably more because I would have been grounded if I didn't."
God: "What is grounded? You are of Earth, are not all human beings 'grounded'?"
Man: "Yeah...sure, I guess, when you put it that way. So, I guess my real question is, why does everything that feels good condemned? Isn't that kind of mean?"
God: "No, it is my kindness that hast endowed you with the ability to choose what is right and what is wrong. Whether you do so is up to you. Your soul depends on it."
Man: "Well, then prove to me that I have a soul, and that heaven really exists. Prove that this is a real conversation."
God: "I can not do that. Even if I were to tell you the truth, you would require real faith to be admitted to heaven."
Man: "Ok, so should I NOT do?"
God: "Do not commit sin."
Man: "Oh my God, this is getting frustrating."
God: "Thou hast blasphemed. That is one sin."
Man: "Ok, so let me get this straight, you're going to create all of these things to tempt me, tell me not to do them, and then rub me in my face and expect me to resist?"
God: "Well, when you put it that way, then I suppose so. Here is a beautiful woman, some alcohol, and an unguarded treasure. Do not drink, do not have sex, and do not steal."
Man: "Dude! You're putting it in my face and saying no? That's fucked up."
God: "As you see it. I told your forebear, Adam, not to eat of the tree of knowledge, yet he did. And because of this you must suffer."
Man: "But that was thousands of years ago. What the fuck!"
God: "Do not curse, it is not honorable."
Man: "So basically, you surround me with women, drink, drugs, and a million other temptations, say, 'it's your choice,' then judge me when I die?"
God: "Thou couldst think of it that way, yes. But it is your choice. I've enabled you with free will, after all."
Man: "Fuck this shit. I'm out, man, I mean, God, whatever. Peace!"
Not sure where this came from, but it's kind of how I see it. What I live by? If it feels good, go for it. You never know what's going to happen after you croak. Carpe Diem.
